You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
