Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
