covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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