Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
