hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
