i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
