based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
