I would go down on you faster than GM stock
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
