I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
