..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
