You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
