The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
