i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
