Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
