Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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