if only i could text you this smell
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
