I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
