I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!