I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.