you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize