I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.