That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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