Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
