PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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