My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
