Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
