Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
