You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
