Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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