please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
