She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
