Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
