Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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