I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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