her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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