i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
