I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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