tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
