I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
