hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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