Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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