1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
