i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
