Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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