i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
