Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
That was before I lit my hair on fire
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
