I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
