im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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