Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
BRING THE BAGELS
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
