Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
