I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We got so high we made milksteak
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize