maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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