quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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