my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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