OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
