Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
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