my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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