I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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