just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
