I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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