My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
