yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Randomize
