why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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